ddoskocil (ddoskocil) wrote,
ddoskocil
ddoskocil

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Will never let you down

This takes place after "Grace Under Pressure" and was inspired by "If I Am" by Nine Days.

Carson could always tell when Rodney was walking the edge. It was very easy when he knew what signs to look for. He always knew the signs, not because he loved him, because he loved Rodney very much, or even because he was worried, because he was very worried about Rodney. No, he watched and looked for the signs because no one else did. No one else, not even Colonel Sheppard, knew when Rodney was about to fall. But Carson knew. He always knew.

He also knew that Rodney needed to slow down, but the man just did not have any patience for such things. So Carson watched for the moment, but he was going to watch for long. He needed to show Rodney that everything did not always have to be hurried. Even in the Pegasus Galaxy where there were crazy soul-sucking aliens and nanoviruses and the Genii there was still time to slow down and watch the sun set. Carson was not going to give up on everything, sink lower off that edge just because things did not always go right.

He wanted to go to Rodney, drag the bugger away from his lab, but he already knew that Rodney would protest. He would site something like the world as they knew it might end at any moment and he was needed everywhere. They could watch the sunset tomorrow, or even the day after that. The sunset was not going anywhere. Well, that be damned. Carson was going to drag Rodney away kicking and screaming if he needed to.
He stood with resolution and slowly made his way to Rodney. The man was eating, working on his laptop, and playing with some device all at the same time. No wonder he looked as if he was about to go over the edge.

Carson stood behind him for a long moment and Rodney never looked up. Carson cleared his throat and finally Rodney looked over his shoulder. There were circles under those wonderfully blue eyes and Carson could not help himself. He reached out to caress Rodney's cheek, but the other man pulled back.

"What do you want, Carson? I'm a little busy right now," he snapped.

"Oh, I can see that. When was the last time you had any sleep, Rodney?"

"I don't have time to sleep. I have to go over all the repairs on the jumpers. I don't want that to happen to anyone else." He saw Rodney shudder at the mere mention of the accident in the jumper. Slowly, Carson put his hands on his lover's shoulders. He knew Rodney was still shaken up about the experience, but he never talked about it.

"What are you doing?" Rodney hissed. With a sigh, Carson removed his hands. Rodney was always weird about PDA, although resting his hands on shoulders was hardly a "display of affection."

"Rodney, you shouldn't be working so hard after your ordeal. Let Radek go over those."

"No. I need to do it."

"Rodney, as your doctor, I'm tellin' you to slow down. I can have Elizabeth make it official and take you off duty for a while," he promised. It was not a threat because he had ever intention of doing it. By the way Rodney was looking at him, the other man knew Carson would take him off active duty. He shut his laptop and stood.

"Fine," he huffed. Carson had to presence of mind not to laugh. He would have embraced Rodney, but he made himself content with a gentle hand on the arm to led Rodney out of the mess. Although Rodney protested, he let Carson take him away.

"Where are we going?" he asked for the hundredth time, but still Carson did not answer. He led Rodney deeper into the city to a small, very private balcony that only he visited. This one, unlike so many others, over looked the city not the ocean. He knew Rodney would love it and he was right. The awe on his face was a wonder to look at. Without a word, he circled his arms around Rodney's waist and pulled his back to his chest. Rodney made a small sound of protest, but he relaxed against Carson's chest as they watched the sunset behind the city.

"You can talk to me, love," Carson finally said when the sun finally set and the lights above the balcony washed them in a yellow glow. Rodney just shrugged.

"Nothing to talk about," he whispered.

"Daft bugger." Carson kissed the back of Rodney's neck. "You don't have to suffer through this yerself. I'll always be here for you, Rodney."

"You don't know that," Rodney snapped as he tensed. "I almost died down there, again. And what's worst is I gave up. I didn't think anyone would find me."

"Rodney, of course we were gonna find you. And I'm here when you need me. I'm not gonna watch you suffer through this alone. Talk to me."

"There's nothing to say," he insisted. Carson sighed, but left it at that. Carson would be there when Rodney needed him. Forever. He would not say it aloud because Rodney was right. It was a promise he might not be able to keep. They had been lucky so far, but luck did not hold out forever. One day, one of them might not come back. But as long as Carson was alive, he could continue to catch Rodney when he fell. He would continue to be there when Rodney was suffering. He would continue to love Rodney. He would never leave, never let Rodney down.
Tags: beckett, carson, mckay, rodney, stargate atlantis
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